the LOST ones


Thomas Comes Home

When I found out I was pregnant for a second time I had just taken on a teaching job for the remainder of the year. I decided to only teach one term, so I could spend time with my first son Jack who was nearly 3 years old before our next baby arrived.

During my 29th week of pregnancy we were told during a scan that our baby son had something wrong with his heart. I was in shock but after being told about the amazing things that could be done
to correct the defect,I was trying hard to stay optimistic.

My husband Miles and I had to have 3 special scans at Wellington hospital to make sure they knew all they could to fix his heart. We were told that he had a condition called 'Truncus of Arteriosus'and would need to be delivered in Auckland where they could operate on his heart.

After sadly saying goodbye to family and our first son, we flew up to Auckland. Thomas Samuel Hales was born at 1:45am on the 23rd of November 2004 by C-section. When I first saw him, I felt like our family was complete. I knew we would be strong and although Thomas would need to have at least 3-5 heart by pass operations,I felt calm. Maybe that calm was somebody telling me that he was only lent to me for a short time?

One week before Thomas was due to have his first operation, they did a routine scan of the kidneys and brain. I remember sitting in a little room with green couches. They said that his kidneys were fine but they had found something on his brain.

After an MRI scan, we were told that he was severely brain damanged. He had a condition called 'severe opercular polymicrogyria'. They told us that he wold not survive any operation...

I remember going numb...I remember falling apart... I remember thinking that it was only a bad dream...

Thomas came home to meet his big brother, family and friends. After learning how to look after Thomas (he had to be feed using a tube), he came home on the 9th of December - our 9th year wedding anniversary.

Thomas lived for 9 weeks. During those weeks we had to love a dying baby. We took him to playgroups, the beach and he had his first Christmas with us. He even was at his brother's third birthday. How lucky we were to have that time. Its only now I know how lucky we were to have had those 9 weeks.

Although Thomas couldnt smile with his mouth he did with his eyes. He had the most beautiful eyes.

On the 28th January we knew the time had come...Thomas was dying. I remember shouting.. his hands are turning blue! He eyes also began to go dull. So when our wonderful nurse came to our house, she said yes he was going to pass away soon. All of our family was there. I remember shouting.."no dont die.. And Thomas didnt die then. His little heart just kept on beating.

That night we lay him between us.At 1:45am on the 29th of January my husband and I both woke up and the same time. We knew he was going. We watched our beautiful perfect baby take his last breath. He was peaceful and a very calm feeling came over us. We knew he was safe now. My husband took him outside so his soul could go to heaven.

At his funeral we let 100 blue and silver balloons go to heaven. one balloon for Thomas and the remainder for all the other little angels.

By Elana Hales


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