the LOST ones


Langsten Rose Miller-Our Sweet Angel.

Langsten Rose was a true blessing. My baby girl was very special. I guess I should start at the beginning. I and my husband of 1 year, Dayton, and we decided to try to get pregnant....we were ready for our 1st attempt to have a baby! We were so excited that we began to try it. I went to the Pharmacy the next day for an ovulation test by First Response. I brought it home. Dayton and I agreed that I would take the test that next day. We had things to do yet that night, so we decided to wait. On February 7th I took the test. It was the next day. I took it. It read "The Best 3 Days For You To Conceive Are.....February 8, 9, and 10th." We decided to keep it a secret yet, knowing it was no garantee we'd fall pregnant in those days. It was only a chance. This was all in 1995. I and my husband were both 20 years old. On March 2, 1995, we got the pregnancy test. It was negative. So, yet again we had to go get an ovulation test again. It said we had March 6, 9, 14th to try. Weird mix-up, but oh well. We tried the 14th. We figured it would be best if we waited until the last day. On April 7th I got the pregnancy test. It was positive! I was finally pregnant!! Yay!! PREGNANT!! YES! YAY! We began telling our immediate families, and they all came over 2 days later for a congratulations party. My mother set it up. She always like to party, and there is nothing wrong with that. I went to my appointments. My doctor told me that the test I took in March was was wrong! I was pregnant since the 19th of February my doctor said. He seemed very happy for us too! So, it was April. I was already 3 months along! Wow! He told us we were due on November 1st. We could not wait! My pregnancy was pretty good. No high blood pressure, no sickness in any part of the day, nothing! No worries! Everything was great! On May 22nd, we found out we were having a girl! I was now 4 months. Yes, I'm almost sure I was....February, March, April, May...yep, 4 months along. We were so excited. We got home just 20 minute slater, and called veryone we knew, our parents and family first though. Dayton's buddies always joked he wouldn't no a thing to do with a girl, and sometimes he laughed and agreed, and sometimes he would just laugh. We all decided to call her Langsten. I just liked that name. It was in memory of my friend, langsten Dayna Lang: 12/30/1975-11/25/1994. She was killed in a car accident. I figured we could carry on her memory. I wanted our baby's middle name to be "Rose", because I had a sister, Rose Marie Smith (My Maiden Name) 11/27/1988-11/27/1988. She was a STILL-BIRTH. My birthday was October 30, 1975, so it was pretty neat that our baby girl would be born around there. Dayton's birthday, however, was before mine. It was February 17, 1975. We are only 8 months apart. That was neat. Well, my pregnancy prgressed greatly. It was perfect. All my ultrasounds were perfect, so, it seemed it was all going to be ok. Well, on October 26, 1995 I went for my ultrasound. I was due in 1 week, so I was 39 weeks pregnant. We were so happy and excited it was only 1 more week! We were all ready. We had everything. The car seat, the stroller, the swing, clothing, diapers, you name it, we had it. We were 100% ready! Well, we got to our room. My doctor asked how I've been, and how Dayton has been lately, and we said "It's all good. Just waiting for the baby."
Well, they did the scan, and they could not find Langsten's heart beating! She was gone! Gone forever! We were totally upset! We had wanted this baby for so long....we bought everything she needed. They sent in two more ultrasound machines to see if the one they used was broke....we wish it were. Nope. Still no heart beat. They pronounced our little girl dead at 12:04 PM on October 26, 1995. I was induced at 12:30 PM. We waited and waited. My water broke at 7:29 AM on October 27, 1995. I was fully dialated at 7:37 AM. I pushed. At 7:38 AM on October 27, 1995, Langsten Rose Miller was born! She weighed 7 lbs. 9 oz. 19 inches. She was so perfect. My dialation and all was actually pretty quick. I thought my labor was fast. We held her at 7:40 AM for the very first time. Her service was October 31, 1995. She wa slaid to peaceful rest at 5 pm. It was so peaceful. She had a calm, easy expression on her beautiful little face in her tiny, beautiful casket, all wrapped up in her beautiful pink bib set, and her cute little bear blankey. A cut pink hat. She looked so precious! Well, were to go now....not sure. Still empty today. I have to see.

By Langsten's Mommy.


<< Back to Stories