the LOST ones


Kaleb Andrew

It was the 19th March 2007, 6.50am and at 35 weeks pregnant. While in the kitchen i felt my waters broke, or so i thought, i looked down to the kitchen floor and it was all blood.

I quickly packed a small bag for my toddler, my bag already packed and we drove to Hastings Hospital a 45 minute drive away. I had only been home for 5 days, having been in hospital for 5 days, 10 days prior. This was also for a gush of blood, something that the specialists couldn't explain, presumed that it was a tear and had healed itself, apparently quite common in pregnancy. So i thought will be in here for another 5 days and back home again....If only it had been that simple.....

Within 10 minutes of arriving at hospital i was told that my baby's heartbeat was too high and would need to be delivered so found myself heading to theatre 30 minutes later. Easy peasy, i had a c section with my toddler, been there before but this time as i arrived at theatre went into a bit of a panic when i was told would be put to sleep. All of a sudden i didn' want to go to sleep and i can remember fighting back that sleepy feeling.

When i came round i was told a little boy had been born. I was wheeled back to maternity where my husband waited. Soon after a doctor came into our room... and this moment our lives changed. A little boy of 5 pounds had been born, he wasn't breathing when pulled from me and had to be revived.
We were told he was very sick and needed to be transferred to Wellington Neo Natal Unit. I remember my answer, 'but he's not going to die is he'... We were told that there would be brain damage but until he was in Wellington they wouldn't know to what degree.

We went and visited our little son in scbu. He looked so helpless, tubes all over him. At first i didn't want to touch him, it was like he wasn't mind.... It took my second visit to him over the morning when my sister said touch him that i did.

The Helicopter was on its way and would be leaving Hastings back to Wellington in the afternoon so my husband decided to make the drive back home with my dad, grab a bag of clothes, camera and show my dad what he was up to on the farm. A doctor came into my room...'Sheree you need to go to scbu, your baby has taken a turn for the worse, he won't be making it, do you want him blessed. My sister rung my husband, yes he wanted him blessed, so he dropped what he was doing and returned to the hospital without his bag of clothes, camera as fast as he could. A doctor said you need him blessed now, there is no time to wait until your husband arrives back. At 4pm he was blessed and my husband arrived at 4.10pm.

The rescue team were preparing him for his flight, meanwhile there seem to be some conflict whether i could go or not between the maternity and specialist staff. I am so thankful for the person who made the decision in the end that i could go otherwise i would not of made it in time.

At 7pm i left hospital by ambulance to the Hb airstrip. Here i was carried onto this dinky little plane they called an air ambulance. The hour long flight seem to go on forever. I remember looking out of the window up at the stars not quite believing what had happened over the last few hours and what was about to happen. I arrived at Wellington airport and i remember having to wait about 20 minutes for an ambulance to take me to National Womens. Here they allowed my husband who arrived just after me in the helicopter with our baby to stay in the room with me. We decided to get some rest, as i lay there not be able to sleep, my husband had just drifted off to sleep when a doctor from neo natal came to us. They asked if we would like to see our baby. That it was touch and go. We saw our little baby, he looked so helpless, with lots more tubes and wires than in Hastings. We were told he was severely brain damaged, we could see on the brain machine it was a straight li ne except when he had seizures. They asked if i wanted a hold, so they lifted him into my lap, wires, tubes and all.

I remember stroking his little hand and foot. They asked if we wanted to go back to maternity, i said no a little baby needed his mummy and daddy. Another doctor arrived, this time it was 4am. He explains to us that even tho he was breathing on his own, his kidneys and liver had failed and his lungs were heart were in stages of failing. My husband asked the question ' so if he had all the life support system taken away, he would take a last breath' and the doctor replied yes. We went to a private room while the life support system was taken off him and at 7am he was brought to us in a private room. Here we got to spend some precious moments with him, we didn't have a camera, we told a staff member this, so they arranged for a photographer to come and take photos, they cut a few locks of his hair, and did a foot print. Here we named him Kaleb Andrew.

At 9.47am on the 20th March 2007 he took his last breath.....

We wanted a post mortem done, we wanted to seek answers.... It was 5pm before we could fly back to Hastings. We flew back in another tiny plane, our little baby's head kept shaking with the vibrating of the plane, i just sat there and held his little head. Soon after we arriving back, our funeral man came and collected our baby. I pleaded to go home. Instead i was in delivery suite hearing mothers in labour and crying babies. I had to spend 2 more nights in hospital. They allowed my husband to also stay. The two longest days of my life.... On 23th March, we held a private funeral for him and laid him to rest in a small countryside cemetry.


I had Placenta Abruption, there are three levels of abruption, i had level 3, the placenta completely tore away, this left Kaleb with lack of oxygen, so severely that it resulted in him having severe brain damage and his organs failed.. We tried to find answers as to why it happened. And there was none. One of those things, we were told....... With a level 3 abruption only 1% result in baby death.......And why did it have to happen to us!!!!!!

Kaleb - our son, much wanted and much loved and never to be forgotton


4 months later i discovered i was 8 weeks pregnant. After a difficult pregnancy (pregnancy after loss) Kaleb and his big brother Jack have a sister named Ashlee.

By Sheree

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